check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
