Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
