awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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