I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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