Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
