were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
