i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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