He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
