Already got asked if we're dating
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
