My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
