He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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