There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Mom said you looked used
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
