There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
