Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize