It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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