Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
