WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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