mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
