the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
