No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
