If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
