Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
