Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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