"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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