who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize