just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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