redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
