She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize