Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize