don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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