Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
