Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
