We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
