Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
