the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
