The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
