There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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