I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize