How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
