it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
