I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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