with your own penis?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
