Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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