It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
