i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
