How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
