everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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