I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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