I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
