Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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