Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
