the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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