guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
