My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
