It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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