I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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