i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
