gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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