You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
