1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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