Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
