shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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