im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i think i just lost a toe
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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