I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
