that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize