Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
