used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
