i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
