fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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