and she was petting her beer can
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
