two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
