Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
