he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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