i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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