I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
