If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There r osticjed everywhere
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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