So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
