I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
