The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
