is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
